Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
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