Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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