Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
