When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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