i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
