come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
