College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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