Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it's like heaven, but drunker
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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