I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
