Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
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