Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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