you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize