respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
