Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
