Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
