I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
