You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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