is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
