She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
