Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
