You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize