something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
