I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
