I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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