i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
false alarm, still single
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
