I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
