Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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