he puts the penis in happiness.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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