You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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