Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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