I think scott just propositioned me for sex
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
