woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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