I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
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i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
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Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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