just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
