thus making me awesome and them whores
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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