how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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