Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
