I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
