I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
that is very illegal...i love you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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