Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
