Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
