low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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