no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
