Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him. http://tfl.nu/25q8
  Replies (63) Good night (28649) Bad night (1508)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard. http://tfl.nu/hy6n
  Replies (10) Good night (6671) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  cat food counts as protein by the way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): cat food counts as protein by the way http://tfl.nu/k5gc
  Replies (13) Good night (1737) Bad night (4303)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip? http://tfl.nu/6lx8
  Replies (17) Good night (3821) Bad night (2020)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird. http://tfl.nu/9vhr
  Replies (12) Good night (2451) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide." http://tfl.nu/7grl
  Replies (31) Good night (2738) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's thinking positively..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012 (1-717): That's thinking positively.. http://tfl.nu/r4se
  Replies (3) Good night (1750) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day http://tfl.nu/vw4k
  Replies (6) Good night (1382) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora. http://tfl.nu/rpdd
  Replies (5) Good night (658) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head. http://tfl.nu/0c7d
  Replies (11) Good night (837) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does? http://tfl.nu/d7kp
  Replies (5) Good night (333) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe. http://tfl.nu/iy8l
  Replies (7) Good night (1296) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult http://tfl.nu/tb3l
  Replies (0) Good night (375) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it. http://tfl.nu/ayy3
  Replies (6) Good night (593) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras http://tfl.nu/enu7
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (306)

Randomize