did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She's allergic to latex.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.