How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My dick has a subreddit
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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