No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
