hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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