office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
