And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
