sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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