This girl is more easily done than said...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
