i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
