Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
