i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
