i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
