The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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