hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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