U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
