is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
soo... how was my night?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
