Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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