if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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