Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize