This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
