Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
