"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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