bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
