I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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