Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i've created a new STD.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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