Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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