Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
